I can't look this good
for that long
I can't look this good
for that long
BIO
Youngest of five. Son of a priest. Fascinated by bears.
WORK
WORK
SLAPSTICK
I don't remember every beating mom gave us. I just remember that we named them after All Star Wrestling moves.
WHITE GUYS ARE ALL THE SAME
There are two of us on drunk patrol... One of us is Mike and the other isn't.
MY LIFE WITH THE BAT CHILDREN
I was seventeen. They clung to the window frame, scratching and tapping on the glass, their baby doll heads all glossy black and hairless, their eyes as shiny as map pins and shoved too close together.
the refugees
I want to go home but I don't know where that is. It left me when I was 15.
BUTTERMILK
Ricky go “You about a Donny-Osmond-looking motherfucker.” Over time that got shortened to, “You about a Osmond.”
ANDY MCGOWAN'S SISTER
Reggie joined AA just so he could tell a bunch of dudes about all the blowjobs he got from Andy McGowan's sister.
BLOG
BLOG
Let's just trip balls, y'all.