Fig. 1: A bear punches a Nazi. Clearly, this is what nature intended.
While we're on the subject of punching Nazis... Yes, I know that the topic seems like it may be passe, what with the blaze of discussion on social media surging and then dying down over the expected lifespan of 48 hours. But trust me, the Nazis are still around, and at some point in the not-too-distant future one will poke its shaved head out of its Wünderbünker and someone will take a swing at it and it'll start again. How do I know this? Well, we've been doing it for about 80 years now.
Which brings me to Konrad Lorenz, whose work and memory I will most likely misquote and defile right here and now. He was a Nazi, for starters. Well not a real Nazi. But he was an "examining psychologist" for the Nazis. He was to study the biological characteristics of "German-Polish half-breeds" to determine whether they were psychologically and physically fit to be allowed to reproduce. The degree to which Lorenz participated is unknown, although he did at one point speak out against the inhumanity of the Nazis. He got sent to the Russian front for his troubles and began a career as a prisoner of war. So -- and I'm totally projecting here -- but I'm gonna say that this is Exhibit A in my case of why Lorenz would probably be in the "Punch a Nazi" camp.
Fig. 2: Geese found Konrad Lorenz delicious, and in fact said that he hardly tasted like Nazi at all.
Exhibit B is this: Lorenz wrote a book called "On Aggression" in 1966. The most fascinating part of it is his research on predators and prey. Check this out: a particular pride of lions will prey on a particular dazzle of zebras (yes dazzle is the correct collective noun for a group of zebras I shit you not). If a rogue lion from a different pride tries to get up in that piece and snatch a zebra, you know what happens? The zebras kick it to death.
Didn't see the coming, did you? I bet you thought that lions got to eat whatever'n'thefuck they wanted when they wanted and zebras are milling around like Steak On A Stick until a lion decides it's time for charcuterie. That's totally wrong. It's more like the zebras have a sacred compact with their angels of death. So weird. So cool. And so very, very Goth of them.
Also embedded in the calculus of the predator/prey relationship is how much the predator has to exert themselves in order to procure their daily meal. Part of the gig if you're a predator. Also part of the gig is that you might just fuckin' get decked while trying to bring home lunch.
Which brings me to Nazis. Nazis exist to wreak havoc; to beat, maim, kill, and chafe their way to realizing their ideology. So it has to be embedded in their philosophical calculus that they're going to take some lumps in the process. They just have to. Otherwise, decades of American cinema -- upon which rests our entire idea of what is true and good -- are wrong.
So in conclusion: be a Nazi, get punched. It's natural law.
Much love, -Gunn